Meaning of the Truth
by Colonel
Summary: Second Chapter completed! Takes place after Ep24, could the truth changes how a boy sees the world and walk the path of destiny laid out before him?
1. Prologue: The Lone Crusade

Disclaimer:  do not own the rights to Evangelion, Studio Gainax animation does.  Should the rightful owners and creator ask to remove this work, I'd do so in a nano-second.  The following piece of writing is just a fragment of my imagination!  So please don't sue me, my family, my friends, my cat Milk, or even my neighbor's dog!

Author's Notes:  This is my first attempt on a fanfiction, I've written stories before, but first time writing a fanfic.  So if I do anything wrong please e-mail me and give me some experience ^.^  The following is a short story I did, an 11 pm production that inspired a series I'm planning.  My hopes are not really THAT high since school's starting and writing time is going to be cut by a lot!  So Q('.'Q)

Neon Genesis Evangelion:  Meaning of the Truth

Prologue:  A Lone Crusade

            The truth.

            The truth had meant a lot to him, and he nearly spend his entire life devoted to 

finding the truth for the sake of him and others.  This very thing the man desired had nearly killed him and caused vast sufferings to the people he cared about.

            "What for?" the man asked himself, checking to see his pistol if it was loaded or not before holstering it.

In fact, he got too close to the truth and came very close to killing him because of what he found out, the terrible secrets and lies that shrouded the organizations known as Seele and NERV.  Their secret agendas ruined the lives of god know how many people.

  The man's natural habit commandeered his right hand to rub his chin after he finished encasing himself in a suit of body armor.  He chuckled, thinking how many times a certain woman always told him to shave.

            "Eternally unshaven man, is it?" just before he closed the locker, he caught a glimpse of a picture sticking out from his wallet.  It was a small wallet-sized picture.****

 He retrieved the photo with an unconscious thought.  "I hope you will understand…" he whispered sadly to the picture.

  The two persons within the photo looked so happy, a purple hair woman was grinning like an idiot in the arms of… his former self.  His free hand unconsciously rubbed at the bruise from the very bullet that nearly killed him, if not for that engagement ring in his left breast pocket… He shuddered at the thought; the agent remembered waking up later and found the bullet lodged in the now deformed diamond ring.

            Yes, it's the truth's fault for separating him from true happiness.

            The truth, the real reason of instrumentality, the mad plan to fuse every human being into one organism, the attempt to become a god, and to erase all traces of emotional pain, loneliness, and other negative emotions one must experience in life.  The old men of Seele were forgetting their limitations as mere human beings; humans are a creation, not 

the creator.

            The agent shook his head at the thought, instrumentality happened almost everyday throughout the world, even before the fateful event of the Second Impact.  Instrumentality happened when two soul mates found each other, breaking their AT-Field, the lights of their very hearts, and bond the two together as one and therefore completing each other.  

            Well, can't really blame Seele since apparently the entire committee was a bunch of old men. 

"God, someone's got to get Seele some girls…" the agent muttered under his breath.

            The "triple" agent gently touched the face of the woman in the photo one last time before putting it away, deep in thought of those he'll cause pain to.  His love, the fiery redhead he considered to be his very own daughter, and the wimpy boy who shouldered the curse.  He chuckled, thinking of how similar they all were, unfamiliar with expressing their feelings.

_            But I'm doing this for all of them._

_            "_Commander Kaji," a man encased in a similar suit of body armor said solemnly, appearing almost out of nowhere, "it's time."

            "One last thing I need to do…" the eternally unshaven man produced an envelope and slipped a disk inside.  He carefully placed it into the hands of another agent.  "The very fate o this world rests on delivering this to the boy."

            "Sir, those idiots they called pilots are known to be impatient," the man reminded almost nervously.  Kaji turned to him and raised an eyebrow.

            "Hmm?  You really think Seele has that short supply of security agents?" he took a breath, and then added, "I'm sure the other team will leave us someone to shoot." The other man grinned like an idiot.  "Move out then, we have a world to save!"

            _Yes, I'm doing this for all of them.  This is the price of the truth, and the responsibility after finding the truth.  _

            Staring at the night sky on the helipad, Kaji looked at the stars as if it was his final moment alive 

            _If I am successful, we'll meet again.  Sorry for all the pain I will and had caused, but please understand __Katsuragi…  I'm doing this for all of you.  Tell the kids if you have the chance, and remember the truth is always with you._

With a nod, Kaji and his team, all encased in ebony body armor and armed to the teeth, boarded the awaiting VTOL transport.  Commander Kaji Ryouji gave one last glance at the beautiful night sky before boarding the VTOL.

            _This is my purpose in life, this is the price I'll pay for finding happiness, and this is my crusade…_

Author's Note:  Prologue is redone and reformatted for your reading pleasure =)  An 11 P.M. production that inspired a series, C&C is appreciated.  This is my first FF so don't be harsh =)

I'd like to thank Rhuobhe26 and The Human Duck for prereading ^.^


	2. Chapter 1: A Spark of Hope

Author's Notes:  Sorry for the delay, school preparation and stuff pretty much slowed me down.  Here's the promised chapter 1, enjoy ^.^

Disclaimer:  I do not own the rights to Evangelion, Studio Gainax animation does.  Should the rightful owners and creator ask to remove this work, I'd do so in a nano-second.  The following piece of writing is just a fragment of my imagination!  So please don't sue me, my family, my friends, my cat Milk, or even my neighbor's dog!

            Under the cover of the stormy night, the agent slipped undiscovered into what's left of the magnificent city known as Tokyo-3.  Most of it was now in ruins, and what used to be a metropolis looked more like a lunar landscape after all the abuse it took.

            Reaching his destination, the man stepped into one of the few remaining buildings that survived the unfortunate self-destruction of Evangelion Unit 00 due to the fact they were in the subterranean region of the city.  At last, the man stopped in front of a door.

            "I hope you are right about this, Kaji." The man muttered, placing an envelope on the doorstep.  Satisfied with the completion of his mission, he took one last glance at the door and slipped into the darkness.

            On the envelope, the words "To Ikari Shinji" could be seen.

Neon Genesis Evangelion

Meaning of the Truth

Chapter 1:  A Spark of Hope

_One who loses money, loses a lot_

_One who loses a friend, loses much more_

_One who loses faith, loses all_

_~Anonymous_

"_The man who fears truth has nothing to fear from lies"_

~ Thomas Jefferson

     Unnoticed by any residents left in the apartment complex, Evangelion Unit 01's pilot Shinji Ikari sat on the rooftop of the building, hugging his knees to his chest as if his very life depended on it.  Fortunately he was not stupid enough to sit at a location where he would be exposed to the harsh elements of the storm.  The lone figure sat in the darkness, his shoulders shaking from time to time as he sobbed.

     _Everyone... everyone has hurt me and abandoned me..._

     No matter how hard the youngster had tried to comprehend the events that happened over the past few weeks, he could not get them out of his mind.  First the betrayal of that abomination he called his father, even worst he commandeered Shinji's own hands to maim his best friend Toji.

     _Everything, everything that caused me pain... he is the source of it!_

     He had rushed back to NERV headquarters to battle the 14th angel after watching the defeat of both Unit 00 and 02.  Terrified, he could just** stare at the carnage before him as the JSDF and UN forces tried against all odds to battle the angel afterwards.  He could still hear the explosions of countless auto cannon rounds and missiles impacting uselessly on the AT-Field of the angel.  Then a familiar voice reached out to him and lifted his terror.  **

     _Kaji!_

     Surprisingly the thought of the eternally unshaven man brought a smile to Shinji, and he even stopped his crying for a moment.  The agent had almost been a father figure for Shinji when Kaji first met him, he gave Shinji advices, cared about him, concerned of his problems...

     Everything his real father ignored.

     Yes, he loved Kaji.  Sometimes he even imagined his guardian Misato marrying him and all of them living** happily ever after.**

     _It isn't possible now is it?_

     His thoughts shifted to the next battle with the 15th of god's messengers, how helpless he was when Asuka was...

     _It was all his fault, that bastard wouldn't let me go help her!_

     Everyone, everything, all fell apart afterwards.  The sacrifice of Rei to save his life, Asuka's catatonic coma, Kaji's death, Misato's grieving, the horrible truth within Central Dogma...

Nagisa Kaoru's betrayal.  The very person who said that he loved Shinji.  HIM, he told Shinji** that he loved him.  Nagisa was the first person to say such kind words to him and granted him the will to open up to others.**

     _In the end, he betrayed me... he manipulated me like my father does!_

     Kaoru was the 17th angel, and he had asked Shinji to kill him.

     **"If I live, it would be the end to humanity.****"  Kaoru's words stuck in his mind, his friend gave him the impossible option, kill him or be killed.  Everyone he cared about had abandoned him.  **

     Rei... the thought of the pilot of Unit 00 both comforted and scared him.  He always felt a kind of bond with the girl, it wasn't love, it was something else.

     _Like a mother..._

     The girl had risked her life to protect him during the battle with the 5th angel, and** then she had sacrificed herself to save Shinji from the 16th.  He was overjoyed to hear that she was still alive after the battle, but the horrible truth which**** he learned within that cursed place below headquarters made him completely terrified of the girl.**

     Ayanami Rei, a clone of his mother and something else.  The image of the dozens of Ayanamis in the LCL tanks haunted him even now.

     _It's all his fault!_

     Sohryu Asuka Langley, the fiery German redhead who brought both joy and pain to his life.  The very girl from whom** he received his first kiss. He couldn't understand his feelings when he thought of her.  She was always energetic, full of life, hot tempered, and loud.**

     That brought a smile to the weeping boy.

  The German had brought him the most happiness he had felt in his life and pain as well.  He had hung on to her for support from his personal problems, taking endless barrages of physical and verbal abuses in the process, but the feeling he had was... happiness.

     _She's gone too, she left me like the others...No, she gave in to her problems._

     The idea of Asuka giving up was terrifying, she never gave up on anything.  Even as the boy sat pathetically in the night, the German girl was in a deep, catatonic sleep in NERV hospital.  A sudden bolt of lightning, causing the boy to hug his knees even tighter,** interrupted any further thoughts.  Deciding that it was time to go, Shinji picked himself up with obvious effort and staggered toward the Katsuragi household.**

     To his surprise, when he reached the apartment entrance, an envelope was lying on the ground as if it was waiting for him.

     "To... Ikari Shinji?" the boy cried out in shock, he had never received any packages or** mail in his entire life...**

     The one from his father that summoned him to this cursed city didn't count.

     _Someone actually cared about me enough to send me something... wait a second... from Kaji?_

     NERV operation director Major Katsuragi Misato walked towards her apartment entrance like a drunken woman, she was exhausted beyond all reasons.  Ever since "his" death, she had been chasing the same thing he was after, like a demon-possessed.

     _Why did you have to die...?_

     "I'm home," she called out weakly after stepping into the apartment; she kicked off her shoes and went straight for the refrigerator.  Almost unconsciously she threw her red NERV jacket off before reaching in for a (cold beer)  Off to the distant, PenPen was struggling to get out of the embrace of Misato's jacket.

     The major took a long drink, and then collapsed as the refreshment sank into her tiresome muscles.  Letting out a sigh, she willed herself to get up and crawled toward Shinji's room.  The sign "Shinji's Lovely Suite" was still on the door after all that had happened and Misato couldn't help but smile at the memory of that long forgotten time.

     The time when life could be called "happy", but pain still existed.

    She paused when her hand was just centimeters away from contact with the door.  Misato sighed; she knew the boy was in a serious depression after all he had been through, and she couldn't really blame him.  

     _How much alike we both are, unfamiliar with living and expressing our true feelings..._

    Misato felt for that boy, from the day she took the role of his guardian** of her own free will, she considered him to be her own son.  She had tried to get him to open up to others with partial success, but recent events had come**** cascading down like an avalanche and the boy had withdrawn into his shell once more.  She was so deep in her thoughts**** that she failed to notice the angry penguin ferociously hitting her feet with his flippers.  Misato's attention soon turned to the room of her other roommate.**

     Ever since Asuka's catatonic state, Shinji had became much worse.

     She had willingly taken two children under her roof and treated them like her own, but she couldn't even help them with their problems.  Yes, she had her own problems too, but for a mother her children must come first.

     "Shinji, are you in there?" her voice held genuine concern; she finally gathered enough courage to knock, while her concern for him was very strong, the boy always pushed her away every time she tried to help.  Receiving no reply, Misato tried again, "Shinji..."

     "I'm busy Misato," the reply came as a whisper, but audible to the woman.  "Don't worry about me." His tone was somewhat dull, but a hint of nervousness was evident.

     "Shin-" Misato stopped, whatever it was he's doing, at least it's gotten some life back into his voice.  She shuddered at the memory of Shinji's lifeless and dull tone for the past few days.  "Shinji... I'll be in the kitchen if you need me." 

     Shinji sighed in relief after hearing the departure of his guardian, his attention returned to the disk in his hands.  The only word on the disk was "play".

     _Is it possible that Kaji is still alive?_

     His hands trembling, Shinji carefully slid the disk into his laptop.  The close encounter with Misato had shaken him up a bit.  He couldn't think of what her reaction would be when she found out that there was a possibility... What he was feeling right now, was a sense of hope.  A feeling he had forgotten since that fateful day of his mother's disappearance...

     In the kitchen, Misato was wondering where the pain in her foot came from.

     Slowly and gently, as if he was going to break the laptop, Shinji pressed the play button.

     NERV Commander Gendo Ikari waited patiently within the dark interior of the monolith room.  The commander, as cool and calm as ever, sat on the only chair in the center of the room with his chin rested on his hands.  His second in command, Vice Commander Fuyutsuki Kouzou, stood at the right hand side of the commander.

     "They must be getting nervous about the upcoming plan, are they?" Kouzou asked, breaking the still silence in the room.  

     "The old men worry too much, I've assured them that everything will go according to the scenario," Ikari replied without turning to face the vice commander.  His tone was as lifeless as always.

     "The sabotage of three S2 Engine components couldn't be described as 'according to the scenario'!" Seele 05's monolith flickered to life with a loud sound, his tone was furious even through the mechanical-liked voice that came from the holographic communicator.

     "You wouldn't be the one behind this, Ikari?" Seele 01 appeared, calm as ever.  

     "The construction of those three Evangelion units will be delayed for a month!" 

     "This is atrocity!" one by one, the monoliths of Seele appeared until a full circle surrounded the two NERV commanders.

     "I assure you that we had nothing to do with it," the commander replied coldly, "the delay of assembling the Eva units is of no concern"

     "A month is a long time in this crucial moment Ikari!" Seele 02 exploded.  "If an outside force with the power to strike at our assembling process does exist, they may come at us next!"** several other counsel members murmured their agreement.**

     _Getting this impatient now?_  Ikari suppressed a smile.  "This is only a delay in the plan, everything will go as planned according to the scenario, I assure you that." He turned to face the monolith of Seele 01 as if he was expecting a reply next from him.

     "Very well Ikari, do not fail us." Seele 01 answered, then the monolith disappeared.

     "You are well aware of the consequences of your failure." One by one, the monoliths of Seele disappeared and left the room in its original dark state.

     "You seemed over-confident of yourself, Ikari." Kouzou bit his lips nervously, a rare expression of his emotions in front of the commander.  "Anyone who dares to stand up against Seele is not to be taken lightly."

     "Oh," Gendo acknowledged, pulling himself out of the chair.  "Do not be troubled, professor.  Those nuisances complain at everything all the time." Ikari sneered, heading for the exit out of the room.  "The delay in the plan only works to our benefits."

     "Then how come I have a feeling that something is going to happen…"? Kouzou realized too late that he had actually said his thought out loud.  Ikari stiffened at the comment and paused.

     "Nothing is going to get in my way, do you understand?" the commander replied coldly before exiting the room.  Meanwhile, the vice commander was trying to shake away the image of the man imprinted in his mind.

     _Ikari Gendo… what have you become?_

     "Hello, Shinji!" the "digital" Kaji greeted the shocked Shinji casually, and the laugh he gave afterwards seemed that he was expecting such a reaction from the boy.  

     "I know this is a little odd, but my death seems a little premature as you have already figured it out." Kaji began, he was dressed in an ebony body suit and the background was equally dark as the suit.  Kaji's expression suddenly turned dark and serious.

     "Shinji, I know mere words cannot help you in this state…" the man sounded sympathetic, "but understand this Shinji, people do care for you even if you deny it.  It's the truth." 

     "I've been told the same thing since my childhood… all lies…" Shinji whispered as a tear sled down his sullen cheek.  He was about to turn the laptop off but something stopped him.

     A picture of his mother, he had forgotten what she looked like, but he could feel it.  The other two persons, however, he took sometime to figure out who they were.  Kaji retrieved the picture and laid it in front of him.  

     "Before all this began, there was a boy named Shinji Ikari.  He was born to a very beautiful and caring mother and a loving father." Kaji sounded as if he were telling a bedtime story. The woman on that picture was holding a little boy in a tight embrace, and a smiling man was standing right by her.  The boy, with all this love, looked truly happy.  His joyful laugh was frozen by the picture.  "Unknown to the world, a secret organization known as Seele found something in the Dead Sea that should be left alone in the mid 20th century.  The Dead Sea Scrolls, the origin of the curse of humanity."  He paused to scratch his head.  "And so the parents of young Shinji were manipulated made to work for Seele, along with many other people, to achieve an unknown goal.  In the Antarctic, they found a being known to humanity as Adam, father of the angels.  It was the attempt to capture it that initiated the Second Impact.  I'm sure you have seen the picture of the angel, Shinji.  According to the Dead Sea Scroll it was Adam, the first messenger from god, but everyone was so involved in their matter that they forgot to look in one thing…" Kaji produced a book from his pocket.

     _A bible?_

     "Ah, I know you are not Christian, Shinji, but hear me out anyways."  Kaji continued.  "He created man in His own image," he read, then turned back to the boy, "and the first human being on the face of the earth is Adam."  He held up another photo, a photo of a glowing giant; Kaji tapped the photo several times and winked at the boy, then he smiled and put them away.  "It was from this thing the Evangelions were created, the Evas are clones Shinji, clones of Adam.  But clones have no souls, they're just dolls, shells of their originator.  Then came the technology that enabled Seele to simulate souls… The first Evangelion was created this way." Kaji paused as if to give Shinji sometime to comprehend what he had just told him.  "Known only to a few, Evangelion first model and production model were special, they have real souls contained within their very core." Shinji gasped, the memories of watching the replay of his berserk Unit 01 flooded into his mind.

     "That fateful day of the disappearance of Shinji's mother was the result of trying to synchronize with a soulless being.  The result was the absorbing of Yui into the core of the Eva unit.  The same was with Unit 02, but in a different way…" he trailed off and looked away, trying to find his words for his next sentence.  

    "Shinji, as I've already said mere words cannot convince you about anything, but listen to me.  Life without pain is not life, and pain in life comes with joy.  He who lives alone exists in oblivion.  Go to Unit 01 Shinji, I am powerless to help you…" Kaji admitted with a sigh,** "The only thing that can help you now is the soul trapped inside.  If you have the chance… help Asuka.  I know you are the only one who can help her." Kaji gave him a "I know something you don't smile".  "I am sorry for leaving you all behind, but I have a reason.  Also keep in mind that the Scrolls might be able to predict the future, but the future is not set, and destiny is always in our own hands.  When all this is over, I'll get you guys some ice cream.  Shinji, if somehow Katsuragi made you drunk and seized the disk by force…" he held up a deformed diamond ring.  "Her love saved my life… and if I see her again, I'll tell her myself in person…" **

     "No…" Shinji spun around and gasped in horror, Misato was standing in the doorway, a shattered glass of milk at her feet.  "Can't be…" she whispered as she collapsed on to her knees.  With a speed he couldn't even imagine he had, Shinji sprinted for his guardian and caught her.  The weight of the adult woman carried them both onto the floor.  Like a child, Misato enveloped Shinji in a bear hug and wailed.  

     "Why?" she choked between tears, her breaths came in ragged gasps.  She hung on to him as if her very life depended on it, crying on Shinji's shoulder.  Tears flowed like rivers, spreading across the shirt the boy was wearing.  Shinji found his hand inches away from the shoulder of his guardian, not sure about what to do.  His face transformed into the battlefield of conflicting emotions.

     _She looks so fragile… _

_     People care about you…_

_     Lies!_

_     Life without pain is not life…_

_     Destiny lies in our own hands…_

_     I care for her…_

_     People do care about you…_

_     Stop running away from the first sigh of pain…_

_     I mustn't run away…_

_     I summoned you because I have a use for you…_

_     Useless…_

_     I care for her…_

_     No one cares about you…_

_     I care for her…_

_     No one cares about you…_

_     I care for her!_

"NO!" he whispered, "I will NOT run away!" his arms unconsciously found themselves wrapped around the sobbing woman, and Shinji returned the embrace.

     They hung onto each other for what seemed like an eternity, then slowly and weakly, Misato broke the embrace and wiped a few tears off her face.

     "Th—thank you Shinji…" Misato smiled through her last drops of tears.  "I—appreciate it…" 

     Shinji couldn't help but gave in to this new surge of emotion, he smiled.  

     "He… is—he—is…" Misato trailed off.

     "Alive," Shinji finished for her, then found his guardian displaying a grin.  "Uh—I'm sorry for—"

     "Don't you say it, Shinji.  There's no reason to say you are sorry for anything," that brought another smile to the depressed boy, a genuine smile from the heart, not a forced one.

     "Now Shin—" Ridiculously the Kaji on the disk chose this time to speak again.  

     "Here's all the information on the construction of the Evangelions and data of the Antarctic research expedition…" Kaji went on.

     "That jerk always has to screw up everything!" Despite the tone of her scowl, her expression was soft.

     "I'm sorry…"

     "Shinji!"

     "Sor—" 

     "One last thing, the angels might not be who we all think they are, and at the mean time, just leave everything to me, sit back, and enjoy the ride!" 

     "Kaji!  Time to go!" a(woman's voice, and Shinji felt Misato** tense up.**

     "Um, ha ha," the agent laughed nervously.  "That's my cue!" the screen turned into a display of information about the Evangelion units.

     "What kind of ending is this…?" the two occupants in the room winced in disgust.

     Deep within the interior of NERV headquarters (lay the hospital complex.  Even at midnight, the hallways were still patrolled by the occasional guard, and a few nurses were struggling to stay awake during their "graveyard shifts".

     A more intense struggle was occurring within the confines of the hospital room 303, where a young teenage girl lay on the bed in a catatonic coma.  A variety of life support machines kept her alive, physically at least.

     She was losing the battle inside.

     "I'm worthless… People used to respect and acknowledge me because I pilot Eva… No one cares about me anymore…" the dejected looking girl kept on repeating to herself, hugging her knees to her chest as she wept inside her head.  She lost the will to live after everything that had happened.

     "I don't want to live, I'm worthless… I want to die, no one cares about me.  Mama left me, papa abandoned me, and Kaji was taken from me… Even Eva abandons me too, I no longer have a purpose in life…"

     "Does that mean you give up then?" a younger version of Asuka appeared from the eternal darkness that was the surrounding** state of mind.  "You give up living because you imagine that no one cares about you?"**

     "What the hell do you understand?  You don't understand me!  No one understands me!" Asuka screamed, hugging her knees even tighter to her body.  The younger Asuka was undaunted by her reaction.

     "If you don't open up to others, no one will understand you.  If no one understands you, how could you possibly get close to others?  If you are close to no one…"

     "Then I won't get hurt…" that came as a whisper.

     "Then you'll never know happiness," the younger Asuka added, "Life without pain is not life, with pain in life comes happiness in life."

     "I've never known happiness even once in my life!  I will continue to be alone forever!  I don't need anyone to survive!  I don't need anyone…" she trailed off as she wept her heart out     "Do you hate loneliness?"

     "Yes…"

     "Then open up to others, don't be afraid."

     "I'm tired of getting hurt… I don't wanna be hurt anymore!"

     "If you continue to run from your pain, then you'll never know happiness, and your life will be filled with despair and loneliness…"

     "I don't care!  I don't want to live anymore!"

     "How about those who (cares) **(care) for you?"**

     "No one—"

     "People do care about you, know it or not.  You won't even open up to yourself, how could you possibly see it then?" the younger Asuka sighed in defeat, then disappearing, leaving the lonely Asuka behind to cry.

     "Is everyone in position?" a lone figure stood under the moonlight on higher ground, looking through his binoculars to observe the road several dozen meters beneath.  The peaceful night was about to transform into chaos and carnage.****

     "Scout team, green."

     "Striker team, green."

     "Support team, green."

     "Retrieval team, green." Each of the deployed teams acknowledged, relieving some of the tension the commander had been shouldering for the past few hours.  

     "Scout 5 here, reporting movement across Nav Point Alpha.  Convoy sighted, move on to your position Commander.  No mistakes, this is the target.  The Seele coat of arms is displayed like the front cover of a magazine." A few light chuckles came through the communication network.

     "Escorts?"

     "Besides the two decoy transports, I count four troop trucks full of armed men, security personnel most likely.   Five Hum-vees spearheading the front…"

     "That doesn't sound too bad," a team member commented.   

     "I'm not done yet Tanaka!" the scout interrupted angrily.  "It doesn't sound too bad right now, they have two Mech. Infantry covering their rear.  Bad ass Infantry Fighting Vehicles."

     "If I'm not mistaken," interrupted a member of the support team, "there's a VTOL, Peregrine model gunship, escorting the convoy about a kilometer out.  If trouble starts it can be here in 30 seconds."

     "That doesn't sway us from our original plan.  Retrieval team, better bring some support here as soon as we strike."  The commander whispered to himself, "Lucky ass Kaji, he always gets the easier missions."

     "Acknowledged."

     The convoy soon came into view.  Five vehicles clearing the path, followed by three huge transporters escorted side by side by four trucks, and two armored vehicles trailing behind completed the convoy.

     "Let's do it people, just like last time.  After this one we'll on par with Kaji's team." The commander grinned and retrieved his weapon.  (The specially modified H&K G-11B was unlike the standard issue the JSDF had, the B version features an attached mini-rocket launcher and 9 mm rounds.  "Scout team, cover fire, Support, snipe them, Striker, let's move!" To answer the commander's orders, 4 pairs of anti-armor rockets lanced out of the darkness.  The Hum-vees were obliterated in an instant, blown to pieces from the rockets.  An unfortunate troop transport erupted into a ball of fire, there was no chance for the troops riding within.  The combined might of the last two rockets penetrated the thick hull of one of the infantry fighting vehicles (IFV) and turn it into a flaming wreckage.

     "Cover fire now scouts!" The commander yelled even as he charged with 7 other men down the slope towards the carnage.  A burst of heavy machine gun fire quickly cut down several Seele security agents that emerged from one of the trucks.  Eight others lost their heads to eight separate and precise sniper rounds.  The convoy's security elements were in a state of panic.  On the other side of the road the eight members of Striker team appeared, pouring assault rifle rounds into one of the trucks.  When they stopped, no more movements ever came from the truck again.

     The commander's team each let loose a single rocket from their rifles, spraying shrapnel and flame upon the security troops.  Any survivors were finished off with short bursts from their assault rifles.

     _So easy._

Until the surviving IFV decided to act, its turret erupted in a monstrous barrage of mini-gun fire.  The asphalt ground beneath the commander's feet was transformed into a ragged mess in a matter of seconds.  The covering fire from Scout team seemed to have no effect on the armor plating of that thing at all.

     To make things worst than they already were, the Peregrine gunship decided to make an appearance at this very moment.  Its mini-guns sprayed death and destruction across its strafing path.

     "Retrieval, some support?" the commander yelled into his radio even as he took cover from the defending security troops.  He sprinted for cover, the Hum-vee wreckage providing his team** a safe spot and fired a few bursts.  "And someone take care of that IFV!" another rocket made quick work of the group of security troops.**

     A round managed to skip off a piece of scrap metal and found its way into the commander's torso.  If not for the Special body armor he was wearing, the bullet could have done much worse than just making a mere hole on ballistic cloth. 

     "Damn, that's coming out of my pay check!"

     "No worries commander, cavalry is here," one of the pilots of the retrieval team declared proudly.  (The Seele gunship seemed to notice the arrival of enemy VTOLs and sprayed one of the aircraft with mini-gun fire.

     In the midst of combat, only the most experienced pilot could figure out the equation:  Explosive weapons Caliber weapons.

     To prove that equation, one of the pilots locked on to the Peregrine and fired a missile.  The Seele pilot didn't even have time to react before his aircraft exploded in flames.  ****

     "Smashed one!"

The four VTOLs that made up the Retrieval team turned their attentions on the still fighting IFV.

     Then came the surrender.  Security personnel threw down their arms and raised their hands for surrender.  The hatch of the IFV opened and three blackened crewmen came into view in a similar gesture.

     "I thought our mission was to destroy that thing?" one of the team members jokingly asked as he joyfully kicked the prisoners onto their knees.

     "Could be a bonus, after all, we captured the S2."

     "Are you sure about this?" Misato gave Shinji's shoulder a gentle squeeze even when she was driving at a hundred miles per hour.  Shinji winced in terror when she made a wild turn with her free hand, if not for the seat belt, Shinji would already be unconscious.    

     "Y—yes!" Shinji answered through clattering teeth, trying to stay conscious and alive through this nightmarish trip.  At least Misato was not driving under the influences of more than a can of beer.  One of the poor guards at the entrance barely avoided the mad woman.

     "Misato!" the purple hair lady turned and gave the frightened boy a confused look.

     "What?"

     "Slow down!"

     "Okay!  Such a boring little boy, I just thought you wanted to see your mom as fast as possible."

     "I recovered a tiny bit from my depression and I'm still getting teased…" Shinji sighed in defeat, trying to block out the laughter from the insane Misato.  The car spun into a parking space with perfect precision, the skill could only be achieved with years of practice.

     "Shinji," Misato said softly, turning to face the boy.  "What Kaji said is true…  Even if you don't know it, people do care about you, at the very least I do." She declared in a solid but gentle tone, Shinji felt his confidence raised up a bit.

     "Thank you… Misato."

     "Good luck, try not to suck up to your mom—"

     "Misato!"

     "It's going to take another impact to get you a sense of humor…"

     Lieutenant Maya Ibuki, one of the infamous bridge bunnies, groaned in frustration as she struggled to stay awake during her long and boring night shift.  The caffeine from the coffee had almost no effect on her exhaustion.

     "Should have never let that idiot Aoba talked me into doing this favor for him," she made a face at the mention of the long haired male, another member of the bridge bunny.  Maya was a calm and shy person, but the stress of the night shift was getting its toll on her.  She remembered accepting Aoba's request so that he could go perform his musical talents to the Tokyo-3 reconstruction crew.  "Never again!"

     "Umm, Miss Ibuki?" a quiet voice immediately snapped her out of her frustrated mood.  Maya turned at impossible speed and found herself facing the young Ikari.

     "Oh, hello Shinji, what can I do for you?" Maya managed to smile even through the exhaustion.

     _What the hell is he doing here at this time of the night?_

Maya shook her head several times to clear her thoughts.

     "Are you all right, Miss Ibuki?"

     "I'm absolutely fine!" Maya smiled, "is there something you need?" her face turned into an expression of shock after hearing Shinji's reply.

     "Shinji… that's against…"

     "No one will find out, and I'll take full responsibilities!" Maya reeled back in shock at the strength in the boy's voice.

     "Shinji…"

     "Please Miss Ibuki," Shinji almost pleaded.  Maya's expression softened and finally gave in.

     "All right, I'll organize the synchronization.  Since there's no one here at the moment I'll only let you do this ONCE, are we cleared?"

     "Thank you, Miss Ibuki…"

     "Call me Maya," the bridge bunny smiled and gave him a gentle touch on the shoulder.  "I do not know what you are up to, but whatever you are doing, it's definitely pulling you out of your depression.

     "Are we ready, Shinji?" Maya's voice echoed within the confines of Unit 01's entry plug.  Shinji, dressed in his plug suit, nodded in reply.  

     "Very well then, begin synchronization!"

Author's Notes:

Whew, Chapter 1's done.  1 down, 5 to go ^.^  The story will explain more in a later part, for now, sit back and enjoy.  Comments?  Criticism?  I hope I didn't make anyone OOC out there.

About Misato's reaction, (I'm sure she'll cry when she hears that Kaji is alive). (The scowls afterwards of what a jerk he is.) ****

About Shinji, he only needs to know that people care about him and capable of love to get himself back.  Gendo's outburst at the end is based on the thought that with his goal so close at hand, he'll go a little more desperate and tense.

Don't worry about me leaving the story unfinished, you have my word that I'll finish this baby, although might be a little slowly due to school. 

I would like to thank Rhuobhe26, Blaque Talon, and Weltall Elite for pre-reading.  Extra thanks to Rhuobhe26 for my number one supporter and pre-reader and taught me a lot on how to write ^.^  Watch out for that A+ for me in English when school starts =)

My outline for the upcoming chapters:

Prologue:  The Lone Crusade (Completed)

Chapter 1:  A Spark of Hope (completed)

Chapter 2:  A Mother's Love (ETA September 30th)

Chapter 3:  The Politician and the Warrior (ETA November)

Chapter 4:  Decisions of Heroes/Pilot it One Last Time (February)

Chapter 5:  Not According to the Scenario (ETA April)

Chapter 6:  Test of Faith, Redemption and Salvation (ETA July)

Epilogue:  One Last Finales, Rejoice of Heroes and Final Confrontation (ETA August)

Omake (Extra):  Instrumentality Attempt

Seele 01:  Come my brethren, Agent Kaji has discovered a way of achieving instrumentality!

The other counsel members wined at the enthusiasm in Seele 01's voice.

Seele 05:  I thought it was Ikari's purpose of completing the project for us?

Seele 01 reeled back in anger.

Seele 01:  Nonsense!  That four-eyed freak takes forever to write a report!  Instrumentality is out of the question for him!

Seele 07:  Then what is this new method of instrumentality?

Seele 02:  Yes, what's this faster method of achieving our dreams?

The Sound Only monoliths of Seele 01 was replaced by a naked picture of Keel Lorenz.

Seele 01/Lorenz:  Come my comrade!  Express our love for each other and let us complete each other!

One by one, the other monoliths of Seele winked out of existence as soon as the picture came into view, leaving Seele 01's crazy plan for the future alone.


	3. Chapter 2: A Mother's Love

Disclaimer:  I do not own the rights to Evangelion, Studio Gainax animation does.  Should the rightful owners and creator ask to remove this work, I'd do so in a nano-second.  The following piece of writing is just a figment of my imagination!  So please don't sue me, my family, my friends, my cat Milk, or even my neighbor's dog!

Author's Notes:  Chapter 2 for you to enjoy, first of all I'd like to thank Rhuobhe26 and Weltall Elite for the support and pre-reading of the series.  This chapter will be all emotional/WAFF like since it's about, you know, read the title!  I'm new to writing WAFF stuff so don't be too harsh please? =P

First of all, I'm sorry for the delay.  I finished this chapter as far back as August 31st =P  Due to my cable being down and my PC being hacked and completely messed up, I'll have to wait until my older brother (THE DESTROYER) to go back to college before formatting and reinstalling everything on the PC and getting my cable back.  God I swear, every time that fool comes back everything in the house starts breaking or not functioning properly…

I know I am letting Shinji getting happy too fast, but it was inspired by something I saw at the mall.  A crying little kid totally transformed into another being when he saw his mother, from crying to smiling in 2 seconds, that's a record no?  Any kid who hears that he/she is going to see his/her mother will be happy, and there's where I based my POVs on.  I just believed that his mother is all Shinji needs to convince him to live =P  Encouragement is really a powerful thing, it can supply a person with a temporary but strong boost of confidence.  Although most of the time short lived, its potential is incredible.

The future is not set, there is no fate but what we make for ourselves 

_~J. Conor_

_The truth is rarely pure and never simple.   
~Oscar Wilde_

Neon Genesis Evangelion:  Meaning of the Truth

Chapter 2:  A Mother's Love

            "This is an atrocity!"

     "Outrageous!  Unforgivable!"

     The Seele council gathered within a dark conference room.  One by one, the monoliths of the twelve council members appeared, and some of them began their complaints almost at the moment they appeared.

     "Silence!" Seele 01 demanded solemnly, the others regained their composure and waited in silence for Seele 01 to explain the reason for this unscheduled meeting.  "It would seen most likely that we have a bell on one of our people…"

     "A bell that rings," Seele 02 offered.

     "A spy is leaking the information to the enemy," Seele 07 agreed.  "Ikari, at the moment he is the main suspect."

     "Another delay is intolerable!" Seele 12 roared in anger, unable to keep his emotion to himself anymore.  "I propose we strike at NERV as soon as possible and proceed with the plan before any more obstacles arise!"

     "Do not be drawn to conclusion that easily," Seele 04 warned in a low tone.  "Anger cannot solve all problems."

     "We are all impatient with the lack of progress, and supplemented with the recent sabotages of our S2 engines and assembly plants…" Seele 02 trailed off.

     "The delay of our promised time is a crime against humanity!" 

     "The delay is estimated to be a month and a half due to the fact that another engine is gone."

     "As much as I'd like to blame Ikari, I know that he is too smart to stand against us with this approach," Seele 01 declared, silencing any further speeches from the council.  "It couldn't be NERV, we have absolute control over the UN imbeciles."

     "From a private source then?  Is that what you are hinting?" Seele 09 questioned.

     "An enemy of us without our knowledge is one to be respected," Seele 01 paused, "find out who this enemy is and destroy it.  In the mean time, assign extra security troops to the assembly plants and the finished Eva units." One by one, the monoliths disappeared until only Seele 01 was left.

     "Nothing will stand in our way, no matter if it's Ikari, the UN, or God."__

************************

            "You stupid ass!  You scared the hell out of me!" Misato couldn't help but cry in joy and frustration as she sat alone in her car exploring the disk from Kaji.  After dropping Shinji off at headquarters, she had parked her car in the HQ's parking lot to wait for the young man to complete his task.  After skimming through the data about the Evangelions, Seele, NERV, 2nd Impact, everything the disk provided, a file marked "Katsuragi" caught her attention.

     "Yo Katsuragi, how's it going?" Kaji grinned at her from the screen.

     "Just my luck to see your loathsome face again!" she scowled, her fist crushed the Boa beer can she was holding, spilling the contents all over her lap.  "Stupid piece of—"

     Kaji chuckled nervously as if he didn't know what to say next.  "Um," he began, "if you are reading this disk, then you already know I'm not dead, yet."  His expression suddenly turned serious.  "Katsuragi, I'm sorry I've hid the truth about myself from you ever since we reunited on _Over the Rainbow.  _In order to protect everyone I care about, I had to fake my own death and keep my mouth shut.  What I do in life is too risky, and if Seele were to know I still live, the safety of lots of people will be compromised." He said the last part with regret in his tone.  "However, the reason I lived, was because of you."

     Misato's eyes widened at the image before her, Kaji held out a dejected looking diamond ring and gave her a soft look.  

     "Since you might have overheard when Shinji was viewing his message, I will leave out the details." Kaji chuckled lightly.

     "How's it possible that you can laugh at a time like this?" Misato groaned, but she gazed lovingly on the handsome man on the monitor.

     "I promised you that when I see you again, I will say the words I couldn't say years ago." Kaji returned the ring to his pocket.  "I work for the United Nations Global Security Council, Katsuragi.  Even Seele doesn't know its existence, that's why I had to be so careful.  I want to make a difference in my life, and I know how the 2nd Impact affected everyone, I… won't let a similar event happen again." His hand went into another pocket and produced a small red box.

     "Misato…" he began, for the first time in his life, he was nervous.  "I might not be alive the next day, or even the next hour.  So I am going to say it now…"

     "Kaji…"

     "Katsuragi Misato, I've always loved you, my feeling never swayed to another woman even after we broke up years ago." Kaji took a deep breath to gather his courage, even though this was only a communiqué.  He opened the small box and revealed another diamond ring, this time it was not deformed.  Kaji knelt on one knee in front of the screen.

     "When I see you again…" Kaji gave her a sad smile, then the screen went blank.  Meanwhile, the purple haired woman was sobbing quietly within the dark confines of her car.  

     "Don't go…"

***************************

     _This warmth inside me… what's this feeling?_

Shinji Ikari, pilot of the Evangelion Unit 01, sat within the dark confines of the entry plug.  He could feel the synchronization between his mind and another when Maya began the link up.  He took a breath from the LCL is his surrounding, thinking about how a month ago he dreaded getting within the entry plug.

     "Your mother is Evangelion 01, her soul is inside that body." Kaji's words echoed in his mind.  At first he was terrified when he heard what Kaji told him.

     _Mother…_

Shinji closed his eyes and relaxed, "That would explain why I always felt safe and warm in this plug, even though this was the cause of my pain…" he shed a tear, "With pain in life also comes with joy in life." He whispered and awarded himself a smile.  

     "Just talk." Kaji had said with a smile when he explained everything about the Eva unit to the boy.__

"Mother…" Shinji felt strange talking when it was obvious that no one else was in the plug, but he went on anyways.  

     "Confess your feelings, your past, and your life Shinji," Shinji quietly repeated Kaji's words.  All his life, Shinji had been alone.  When his father abandoned him, he lived with his teacher.  It was a quiet, and painful life knowing that he was abandoned and no one loves him.  "I've been alone all my life… why would anyone care now?" the sudden outburst surprised even himself.  "That bastard I called father abandoned me, then sent for me because he has a use for me.  He doesn't even consider me to be his son!  I tried to prove myself worthy for him to notice, but in the end, he used MY hands to hurt my best friend…" How strange it was, Shinji was opening himself to no one except the LCL within the entry plug.  Maya had agreed to give him some privacy and had shut off all monitors to the entry plug of Unit 01.  

     With his hot tears mixing in with the LCL, Shinji went on.  "I thought I've found what could be called happiness in this cursed city, but any joy I've found was lost in all the pain… I—I had lost all hope until the disk came to me, mother…  I don't—I don't know what to do anymore." Tears flowing freely, Shinji admitted his deepest feelings.  In moments he was crying openly and loudly.  Strange as it was, the boy suddenly felt that a terrible burden had been lifted from his shoulders.  A burden he has been bearing for a long time. 

     "'The past is not a burden, but an experience,'" Shinji smiled through his tears, "I finally understand the meaning of that now…" he took a deep breath from the LCL and continued, "mother, please just let me see you one last time…" his breathing came in ragged gasps, "Let me see you just one last time…  Let me know that—there once was a person who loved me unconditionally.  Just one last time…" he sobbed, "just for once in my life, please…" the boy was shaking violently now, he buried his head between his knees and pleaded as if his very life depended on it.  "Please…" he repeated, but there was nothing but the blood-liked LCL and a crying teenager within the entry plug.

     _Kaji lied, everyone lied, no one cares for you Shinji Ikari, and yet you talk about love!  _A familiar voice in his head sneered, trying to rip open the fragile human being like a predator hunting a prey.  _Every one of them, Misato, Asuka, your mother and father, Kaji, EVERYONE betrayed and lied to you!  _The voice paused as if to allow Shinji sometime to think about the accusation.  _The truth hurts, doesn't it Shinji?  _

     Shinji had lost, the boy could feel it himself.  It was a hopeless battle against impossible odds.  The voice in his head returned even now to haunt his life, convincing him that he was worthless and not even worthy of trust, love, and friendship.

     "I—" words failed Shinji, he couldn't even state a reply to the voice.

     _Why do you fight fate then?  It just causes you more pain.  You are destined to be a worthless being, always alone and live with despair, this is the truth._

"No—"

     _You are so pathetic, you should just die._

     **Death is the only release for you.**

            _Die…_

     "Death…"  Do I want to die?" the defeated Shinji muttered.  Then he felt it, a strange but warming presence, he could feel it next to him, touching him…

     If only the exhausted Maya was awake, she had fallen asleep a few minutes after sending Shinji to Eva 01.  The shriek that came from the Evangelion cage was so loud that anyone within headquarters could hear it.

     "She" shrieked with a fury unmatched by even the times she went berserk, the mouth restraint of the massive humanoid life form shattered in an instant when the beast released a cry of fury.  

     "Remember Shinji, the fate of humankind is on your hands." Kaji had once said to him when he tried to encourage the uncertain young pilot and gave him some insight to find his own reasons of piloting the Evangelion.  

     "If the fate of others rests in my hands… Can't I shape my own fate too?"

     _It's impossible._

     "What you said was false," Shinji replied, surprised at the strength of his own voice.  A warm presence slowly slipped into him as if to encourage him.  "Nothing is set in life, I can change my fate with my own hands."  The voice made no reply, and Shinji felt even more confident.  "Pain is a part of life, just like happiness is a part of life.  I can learn to accept the pain in life as well as obtaining happiness.  I can also learn to have others place their trust on me…"

     _Do you want death then?_

"No!  I want to live!" Shinji blinked in surprise, during his declaration he felt something soft touched his face.  He spun around and found himself staring into the loving smile of his—

     "Mother?" his mother was there, he could see and feel it as well, but she was transparent, almost like a specter.

     "You are never alone my son, I am with you now and always." Ikari Yui smiled, gently caressing her son's face with a soft, transparent hand.  Shinji smiled in return and attempted to hold her hand.

     "Are you real?  Mother is that really you?" Shinji's eyes wore a shocked expression, when he found his touch went straight through his mother's hand, he couldn't even touch her at all.

     "I'm real Shinji," she spoke in a low volume with a soft voice, "my soul resides in Evangelion Unit 01, and what you are seeing now is my very soul.  The light of all living things."

     "Your— soul?" Shinji blinked in surprise.

     "All my heart and soul," Yui smiled, she held Shinji in a loving embrace.  Although spirit and flesh couldn't contact, emotion could.  A warmth Shinji never experienced before flowed through his very essence, awakening the inner strength that was taken away from him since his childhood.

     The feeling was the unconditional love of a mother for her child.

     "Mother…" Shinji cried, this time in joy instead of sorrow and despair.  "Why did you leave me?"

     Yui wore an expression of regret and her smile disappeared.  "I'm sorry I have to leave you behind… it's a fate we must all endure."

     "What you mean by that?"

     "The fate unsealed on the same day Azazel was discovered in the Antarctic and lead to the destruction of three billion people," she sighed sadly.  "In mankind's ignorance, they thought they had discovered the father of all men on Earth.  They never expected that they had unsealed a great evil instead."

     "I-I thought Adam was the cause of the 2nd Impact…" Shinji asked in confusion, "the photo… the giant…"

     "Is not Adam, not an angel, but the source of all evil…  I discovered that fact myself ever since that fateful day I was absorbed into Unit 01, mankind's creation and duplication of Azazel."

     "Azazel…?"

     "The angel who taught men to fashion swords and shields and taught women finery and the art of beautifying the eyelids.  The Lord of Hell, seducer of mankind, source of all evil, a fallen angel, the fallen angel, Satan." She broke the embrace and stared into Shinji's eyes.  "We live in hard times, Shinji.  I am sorry I could not bear this burden for you and the other children…"

     "Then what's the point of the war?"

     "A test for mankind or punishment."

     "I don't know what to do anymore…" at a complete loss of words, Shinji looked away.  "All the time I've been fighting the angels… it's pointless."

     "No it's not pointless.  They are the creation of Azazel, they sought after the destruction of mankind."

     "Kaoru…" Shinji trailed off.

     "He was different, he was captured and raised by Seele.  A creation of evil doesn't mean it is evil.  Yes he was raised in the dark minds of the Seele organization, but besides the dark side of human beings, your friend also saw the bright side of it as well." Yui smiled and held her son's head to her gaze.  "He was brave and honorable, he sacrificed himself for all mankind."

     "I don't understand any of this…"

     "No one does."

     "What am I supposed to do then mother?  What now?"

     Yui again held her son in an embrace.  "Live my darling, live and enjoy life…" In the arms of his mother, Shinji closed his eyes and let himself into the warmth of a mother's love.

***************************__

     NERV Commander Gendo Ikari was not a happy man, the same night he decided to stay late at headquarters was the night that unexpected events happened.  Surprise was a feeling he hadn't felt for a long time.

     _Her disappearance._

Gendo sprinted along the long, dark corridor of the headquarters complex, he knew the shriek came from Unit 01. The commander had heard the same horrible sound repeatedly over the year and the war with the angels.

     _It couldn't be!_

He reached the entrance to the Evangelion cages and opened the door; it wasn't according to the scenario.

     The cold-hearted man found himself facing his son, Shinji Ikari.  The boy looked at him with a blank-expression, no, that look wasn't blank.  It was something else, the 15 years old boy gave him a look of…

     Pity.

     "What do you think you are doing here, Third Child?" Gendo questioned harshly when he had regained his breath from the sprint.  Their eyes met, brown and azure.  For a moment, neither of them moved, talked, or breathed.  They just stared into each other's eyes.  Shinji faltered and tried to speak, but words failed him as fear took over his body once again.

     "Fat—father—I—"

     "You have no business here, leave."

     "I was—doing something… I—" Shinji unconsciously began clenching and unclenching his fist as he was overwhelmed by the cold expression on his father's face.

     "LCL?" Gendo noticed a drop of the yellow liquid that dripped from the young boy's hair and frowned.  "You are stepping way out of your line, Third Child.  You know the consequences of unauthorized activation." Shinji remained speechless, paralyzed with fear.  "Well?  Explain yourself, Pilot Ikari.  What are you doing here?" Shinji's new found confidence within the Eva was diminished in a matter of seconds under his father's withering attacks.

     "I—" Shinji turned and ran toward the exit of the hanger bay.  The commander simply shook his head at the sight of the fleeing boy.

     "Running away again?"

     THAT stopped the younger Ikari cold, the boy turned around with both his hands in tight fists.  Although still a bit shaky, Shinji answered with evident strength n his voice.

     "I swore to mother I won't run away from problems in life ever again…" then he turned and departed.

     "Pilot, you will stop and answer my question, do you understand?" Gendo was angry; tonight was too mysterious.  When the boy didn't stop he moved after him in an attempt to stop the boy.

     Instead he found the door slid shut in front of his face.  In anger, he pressed the nearby button to try to open it, and a mechanical sound informed him of the state of the door.

     "Yes!  That'll show that bastard!" Misato roared in triumph in the command bridge.  She immediately regretted it as Maya awoke from her sleep.  Well, no one could blame her, slamming a door in front of THE commander's face was the dream of a lifetime of most NERV employee.

      Defeated, as much as he hated to admit it, Commander Ikari turned to face the huge form of Eva 01.

     "Soon my love, we'll be reunited" he whispered, he ran his hand up his sleeves and felt the implant on his left wrist, the implant of the embryo of Adam, the first angel.  "Soon…"

***************************

     Former JSDF General Jinnai Yamato, also one of the three UN Generals of the Armies, strode through the long corridors of the underground facility of the UN's Global Security Council (GSC).  It wasn't the saluting of the hall guards every five steps but the current situation that was annoying him.  The two entrance guards, dressed in a royal blue tunic with a white armored vest over a similarly blue jumpsuit, white helmets with shaded visors, and a mean looking weapon saluted smartly as the general entered.

     "You are late, little brother," UN Generals of the Armies Taiku and Sagumi Yamato greeted their younger sibling as he entered into the conference room.  Like it was a joke, the three brothers had landed a spot on the UN military and became the three commanding officers of the UN army.  Jinnai threw a nod to the two entrance guards before replying.

     "My flight was delayed in Narita, stupid politicians wanted me to stay to squeeze every ounce of power for their own use!" the youngest of the three men scowled and pounded his fist on a table.  "Politicians, such a disgrace to man."

     "Excuse me, gentlemen," the chairman of the council coughed to get the three men's attention.  Embarrassed, they returned to their designated spot in the great conference hall.

     "The situation is a total disaster," Sagumi whispered before they sat down on their seats.  "A total disaster."

     "A total disaster it is," Director Enrique Malloy announced.  The huge man towered above the small box in the center of the room by at least a meter.  At 7 feet tall, the well-built and intelligent European-origin director of the UN GSC was an intimidating man.  They did say looks could be deceiving, the huge man was an environmental biologist before joining the UN and obtaining this position as the director of the most secretive organization on the face of the planet.  "Our sources indicated that Seele has just finished four of the nine Evangelion units.  Despite our best efforts, the delay in the completion of the final five is only a month at best." Malloy looked to his advisor after he finished his announcement.

     "In addition to that, external sources reported NERV HQ is completely silent, and we all know that Ikari is not a man of inactivity, he's lurking within that office of his, planning his whatever scenario."

     "Gendo in his office, all's wrong with the world." Another man emerged from the entrance, the two guards on either side snapped to attention as he passed.  "We now know for sure the beings are not angels." Kaji grinned, resting his elbow on a counter.  The council was already used to his insubordination.

     Anticipating the advisor's riposte, Jinnai spoke.  "Yes, it's that important for Commander Kaji to interrupt, Advisor Jackson." The advisor shrunk in embarrassment.

     _Politicians… _Jinnai thought angrily.  _It's a pity Malloy hasn't got rid of that fool yet._

"This is a UN conference hall, not a court room." The director reminded the others as he prepared for another speech.  "According to our good agent there," he nodded at Kaji, who smiled in reply, "the current state of the Evangelion pilots within Tokyo-3 is messy, there are mental problems the bastard Gendo infected upon those poor kids." Malloy paused to let the last sentence sank into the council's minds.  "Also, Seele is getting more desperate.  Their extra security, and all personal guards from the 12 monoliths, made any further attempts on sabotage operations very risky.  We also think that they MAY strike at NERV using force any time to achieve their goals." Sounds of shock and surprise revolved around the council.  "BUT," Malloy yelled through the voices, "they won't strike until all nine of the Mass Production Evangelion Units are completed, and that gives us at least a month."  He turned to the three generals.  "I suppose a month's worth of time will allow you three to plan?"

     _The words of an honorable man!  _Jinnai thought as he and his brothers stood up tall and proud.  

     "Are you suggesting military actions?" Sagumi asked.  

     "Military actions against Eva units are futile!" one of the council members spoke up, already complaining before the director even announced his decision.  Murmurs of agreement echoed throughout the conference room.  "WE all have seen what an angel did do the 4th Army during the first attack on Tokyo 3!  It was disastrous!  Facing Evangelions is out of the question!"

     "Worrying about money again?"  Jinnai sneered angrily and stared venoms at the source of the outburst.  The young man seemed to shrink smaller under the general's dagger glare.

     "I was simply stating—"

     "What use do we have of money when there's no world left for them to be spent?"

     "ENOUGH!" Malloy boomed, bringing silence to the conference room once more.  "This is not a court room or some opera show.  I demand respect for authorities here." The huge man stared everyone back to their seats before continuing.  "If Seele really is planning to attack NERV by force, I'm simply stating that a preliminary deployment of assets can prove invaluable to counter that threat.  For the Seele Evangelions however… I'm sure the JA Project's director will be able to deliver the ordered fusion engines in time to the UN Science and Research Department?" A Japanese man in his mid forties stood up from his seat, the director of the failed Jet Alone project announced proudly. 

     "Yes sir, we won't fail!"

     "Director… Are you planning to use THOSE metal junks the SR department geeks are so proud of…" Taiku seemed to be both excited and shocked at the same moment.  

     "What else would I be referring to?"

     "With all due respect, director." The advisor interrupted.  "The AS and the fusion engines have NEVER been tested, it is illogical to use them this quickly!"

     "And letting those nine monsters killing those poor kids is logical?" the advisor shook his head in silent shame.  Another council member defended him.

     "If you put into accounts the amount of money the whole Armored Soldier Project costs, and their rapid deployment, it seems illogical to waste everything just to save some kids."  The man sighed in frustration.  "Heroes or not, kids or not, lots of lives could be saved with those money going to food distribution."

     "You are forgetting something," the advisor countered, to everyone's surprise.  "General Jinnai Yamato is right, what use do we have of money if the world doesn't even exist?"

Malloy grunted in disgust and turned back to the generals.  "Besides, Seele may even convince their puppets in the JSDF to deploy the Trident.  In that worst case scenario, the AS will have a nice field test no?" Malloy smiled in triumph and turned back to the three generals and raised an eyebrow.

     "The Trident can be a problem," Jinnai exclaimed.

     "Yes… We all know about the bloody incident with the seizure of the Trident Project, the development team of the JSDF was slaughtered and the pilots brainwashed by Seele…" Taiku added.  Both turned to their eldest brother for the next word.  

     "Timing may be a little tight, sir.  But we are definitely able to deploy." Sagumi said with full confidence and was awarded with mutters of compliments around the conference room.

     "Good," Malloy looked around at the assembled people, "if there are no more objections, dismissed!"   

     One by one, the council departed until only Agent Kaji and Director Malloy were left.

     "Hard to believe that for once in my life time I could do something about the tyranny of the Seele Council." Malloy chuckled with his back on the Japanese man.  

     "There has to be some gains from hiding underground for so long and remained idle while the world is being ravaged over," Kaji sighed.  "Such irony."

     "How long has it been then?  Twelve years?  Hiding in a god forsaken underground hole for over a decade?  I swore a death oath against Seele ever since their reign of terror emerged after the Second Impact, with the UN Council controlled by force, it was hard to do anything at all."

     "Just a matter of time now, Enrique." Kaji assured the other man softly.  "Only time will tell what will happen next…"

***************************

     Shinji pulled a chair by the bed and sat down quietly, he looked at the girl lying on the bed sadly.

     "Asuka, don't you want to live?" he whispered, he attempted to cupped one of her hands with his own.  His hands hover just a mere centimeter away from the girl's hand when realization hit Shinji.

     _What am I doing?_

The fiery German redhead looked so peaceful in her sleep, an expression that had never shown on her face before when she was awake.  Shinji couldn't help but admired her beauty and innocence.

     _You never know anything until you try._

     His mother's words rang inside his head, an encouragement to not to run away at the very first signs of problems and obstacles.  Slowly and shakily, Shinji's hands found themselves in contact with the warm flesh of another human being.  Shinji let the warmth sank in for a few seconds, savoring the experience he had never felt before, the warmth of another.  The smiling face of shinji's mother sudden flashed in his mind, and Shinji closed his eyes to deal with the overwhelming wave of new found emotion.

     He'd found love, a mother's unconditional love.

     All his life, all he ever desired was to be loved and cared for, and now he'd finally succeeded.

     Shinji had informed Misato of his decision to stay with the catatonic girl, she wasn't too happy about it since he was losing his sleep for it, but another part of her was glad that he had the will to stay with the poor girl.  Misato, on the other hand, fell asleep after Shinji had taken a few paces.  

     "Asuka," he whispered again as he held her hand tightly, and finally giving in to exhaustion.  

     Inside the mind of Asuka Langley Sohryu, there was neither peace nor quiet nor sleep.  She had been crying alone ever since her younger self abandoned her.

     She was alone.

     "No one—even—cares—enough… to notice me…" she said in a barely audible tone, she had ran out of tears long ago, and her throat was dried with the self-accusation, pity, and crying.

     "I want to—die."

     "Do you?" a person, no, a teenage girl, stepped out of the darkness and kneeled before the despair-filled Asuka.  "Life is full of pain, and yet full of joy."

     "Lies…" Asuka answered coldly, a voice deprived of hope.  "Life for me is always pain."

     "You won't find happiness in life if you do not open up, and the inner you already informed you that you won't even open up to yourself, how could you ever hope to find or see happiness?" the girl asked, her voice was soft and gentle.  Asuka looked up for the first time and began to  analyze the mysterious person.  Her hair was blonde, platinum blonde.  Her skin was as pale as the white shirt she was wearing.  She ignored all that and gazed into her eyes.

     They were red.

     "Just what I need…" Asuka whispered, bringing her defenses up again.  "Another wondergirl…" she said accusingly, but her strength was already long gone.  Her tone was lifeless.

     The girl didn't seem to mind the insult one bit, but smiled in return.  Asuka stared in shock as the "wondergirl" kissed her on the forehead and smiled gently at her.

     "Forgot to introduce myself," she released a light laugh, "I am the being you have known as the 15th angel, and Arael's what you humans thought I am." THAT got a reaction from Asuka.

     "Have you come here to gloat then?" Asuka spat venom at the girl.  "Victor gloating over the loser?  Came here to violate my mind again like you did?  Make me suffer even more?" the smiled faded from the pale girl.

     "I won't lie to you Asuka," The being called Arael sighed, "I did force open the barriers of your mind, but please understand I am trying to help."

     "Help—" a touch to Asuka's lips silenced her.

     "Let me finish.  Even before my defeat, I already knew what my creator planned for us, the beings that attacked you.  My creator wished us to completely destroy your kind." She smiled sadly.  "Luckily, the 17th had brought me out of the darkness, Asuka.  He showed me the beauty of humankind, and over time my taught hatred diminished until I was almost in love with and envious of your people."

     "Then why…?" Asuka sobbed, "why did you do that to me?  Why are you here?"

     "I'm here because of my redemption," again the smile calmed the anger Asuka was feeling.  "I did not follow my creator's plan to use me as one of his puppets to destroy mankind.  And my reward was a second chance." She caressed Asuka's crimson hair.  "I could be called a real angel now, I guess," she chuckled.  "I looked into your mind because I wanted to understand, Asuka.  Forgive me if I acted a little too desperate…  For I knew that I was going to die."

     Before Asuka could mouth a reply, the angel silenced her again.  "Why am I here you ask?  I am here because I care, you humans have such fragile, yet beautiful lives…" Asuka's eyes widened in surprise, she looked at the angel for the first time in tears.  "I'm here to help, to show that people do care for you, believe it or not." She embraced the red head and touched her forehead with her own.  "Ever since you've closed yourself to the world, you have been doing everything you could to push people away.  Most of the time you wanted people to actually hate you so they will leave you alone.  Pretending hurts right?" The German girl nodded.  "Open your mind, Asuka.  Open yourself up to me, open yourself to others, most important of all, open up to yourself…"

     Suddenly, Asuka was no longer in the darkness she wept in, she was floating in mid-air looking down at a newborn baby being held by a woman.  A tall and handsome man stood by her, both were laughing joyfully.

     "Is… is that?" words failed Asuka, she turned to face the angel in confusion.

     "That's you." The blond girl smiled.  "Your life is not just pain you know?" the scene next changed to a mansion, a young Asuka was walking her first steps.  Asuka smiled for the first time in months, her mother was kneeling close to her, prepared to catch her in case she fell.  Her father was on the other side of the hallway, waiting and watching his daughter in joy.

     "Mama, papa…" Asuka cried, and unconsciously buried her face in the embrace of the blond girl.

     "There's more," the angel whispered softly into Asuka's ears.  The mansion disappeared and was replaced the scene where Shinji almost kissed her in her sleep.

     "Stupid?" Asuka whispered, the girl next to her laughed softly. 

     "Yes, you see, 'stupid' your idiot does care for you," Asuka continued watching the scene.  "I thought you were awake during that moment?" the girl teased.

     Asuka blushed and didn't' say anything for a while.  "What if I was…?" she smiled, but a sudden thought hit her and she recoiled.  "No!  I hate him!  He hates me!  I lost him over to Wondergirl!" The world changed into the scene at the train station, a month after Shinji was brought back from Eva 01.

     "Is this jealousy then?" Asuka shook her head violently, but the memory was all too fresh.

     "After all… I lost to the kinds of you," she heard herself said from the other side of the platform, the "Asuka" was staring with contempt at the sight of Shinji joking light heartedly with Rei.

     "But he cares for you."  

The world kept on changing around them through the times when Shinji had saved Asuka from the volcano, fun times(arguments) with Hikari and the three stooges, fights with Toji, all the other happy moments in her life.  "Why are you showing me this?" she asked in a low tone.

     "To help you," the angel answered, but sighed in defeat afterwards, "but I know for a fact that I cannot fully convinced you, I have one more task to do.  It's short yes, but you have five minutes with your mother." She turned and smiled at Asuka.  "Her soul is within Eva Unit 02 all this time and—" Asuka's reply cut her off.

     "Mama… why would I want to talk to her?" she snapped at the angel, who was completely surprised at the reply from the German girl.  "She is inside Unit 02…?"

     "Yes, just like Shinji's mother is inside Unit 01."

     Asuka took a moment to compose herself, than laughed harshly while choking back tears.  "You bitch!  Why the hell you think I would want to talk with HER?  She doesn't care about me!  In her eyes I am replaced by a doll!" she screamed, streams of tears turned into a cascading river as she spoke.  

     "But she does care…"

     "You don't know shit…" Asuka spat, "you've seen how Unit 01 repeatedly went berserk to protect idiot's life?  Misato told me all about it, how it activated itself during the 3rd angel's attack to save Shinji from falling debris…" her words grew silent as she braced for what she was going to say next.  "Then WHY didn't it even do anything to protect me?" she suddenly found herself staring at a too familiar image of the Germany NERV branch.  A young Asuka was running on one of the crisscrossed catwalks surrounding Evangelion Unit 02.  A terrorist bombing had rocked the entire complex violently, causing one of the catwalks to collapse.

     The one the young Asuka was on.

     The small German girl fell and sunk into the purple liquid covering the lower portion of the Eva unit, the red biomechanical robot didn't even move a finger to attempt to save the girl, her daughter.

     "If mama really cares, then why didn't she save me back then?" Asuka cried.  If it weren't for Kaji discovering her, she would have died that day.  "Why didn't she help me during the battle underwater?  Why didn't she protect me during the battle with the black Eva?  WHY did she REJECTS me as her pilot?  WHY didn't she even let me sync with her with a high ratio?  Does she really hate me enough to reject her own…" the defeated German girl trailed off and she took a breath to try to calm herself but failing miserably as tears overcame her.  "…daughter…" the angel found herself at a loss of words over the confessions of the redhead, she placed both hands on the German girl's cheek to look at her into the eyes.

     "Asuka," the blond angel said gently, "everyone has their own problems, and your mother is just like everyone else.  But her soul was crushed after seeing for herself how she treated you after the first and failed synchronization of Unit 02, and the rejection of your father over you and her was still fresh in her mind.  She, like you, was in a state of depression and her soul withdrew into a shell and into isolation.  She does care for you, you are her daughter, and your state right now is what motivated her to break through the shell she was in to try and get to you."

     Asuka was silent as she listened, tears still flowed down her cheeks unconsciously but slowly stopped.  

     "Really…?" Asuka's voice came as a whisper, but her companion heard her and gave her a reassuring smile.

     "Me?  Lying?  Not in a thousand life times." The angel smiled.  "Asuka, it's up to you.  I'll do whatever is necessary to help you and I don't expect to be thanked, but—"

     "You're a strange one," Asuka commented, "but thank you for caring for me." She cried, this time in tears of joy.  Her expression suddenly changed to shock.  "Can you really—" 

"I'll let you see your mother?" the blond girl asked, tears streaming down her face as well.  "I can extract her soul from Unit 02 to your mind for just five minutes… Treasure this moment and remember—" the girl disappeared before she could finish her sentence.

     "Yes I will, I'll remember you now and always." Asuka understood what she was going to say.  Suddenly, a transparent hand caressed her face gently and pulled her into an embrace.  The German girl looked at that direction in surprise and found herself staring at a woman who looked like an older version of herself, except that her hair was brown.

     "Mama…" Asuka broke down and embraced her mother tightly.  Kyoto smiled and couldn't help but cry with her daughter as well.

     "Shh… It's okay, Asuka my darling…" she repeated as she calmed the girl.  "It's okay, you will never be alone again…"

     There in the depths of Asuka's mind, the mother and daughter hugged each other for a period that seemed like eons as they comforted, apologized, and talked to each other.  Reluctantly, Kyoto broke the embrace and brushed her daughter's hair gently with her hand.  "I'm sorry about everything Asuka…  Please understand."

     "Mama…"

     "You've grown up my darling, but you are still and forever my child." Kyoto said softly.  "I cannot stay for long…"

     "Don't leave me mama…"

     "I'm not leaving you, my very soul is within Unit 02.  We'll see each other again.  Before I go, I still have to ask you a question." Asuka gave her mother a puzzled look.

     "Do you want to live?" a voice came out of no where, it was the voice of a girl.

     "Arael," Asuka smiled at the voice.  She stood up straight and tall with her mother.

     "I want to live!" she yelled with all her heart, Kyoto only smiled at her daughter and nodded.  An image of a sleeping teenage boy appeared above them.

     "Go back then Asuka," Kyoto whispered in her ears.  "Go back, live your life, go back to him…"

     Asuka slowly opened her eyes, but immediately regretted it when her unadjusted eyes met sunlight.  She blinked a few times to let her eyes readjust to her surroundings before she fully came to senses.

     _Something… Something warm is touching my hand._

She turned weakly and found her face mere inches away from her roommate, Shinji Ikari, pilot of Evangelion Unit 01, her savior a couple of times, her…

     Shinji awoke suddenly as if he sensed Asuka's new hopes on life.  In a similar reaction, he opened his eyes too quickly and found himself wiping his eyes to adjust to the light.  "Asuka?"

     "Shin—Shinji," Asuka gave him a small smile.  "What are you doing here?"  her voice was weak and dried having not talked for weeks.  She frowned slightly as realization hit her; HE was holding HER hand.  Her first instinct was to yell and slap the boy with all the strength she could muster, but the warmth…

     _Comfortable…_

     Shinji just smiled at her and gave her hand a gentle squeeze.  "What are you, stupid?  I am waiting here for you to come back to life." 

     "Shinji has finally become a vertebrate… You can grow a spine after all…" the German girl whispered softly, she tried to lift her hands but only partially succeeded.  Her arms were shaking in mid-air.  Shinji seemed to understand what she was doing and helped her to move into a sitting position.

     "Just because I let you hold my hand, that doesn't mean I give you permission to touch anywhere else!" Asuka growled, looking at the direction where Shinji's hand was touching her shoulder when he helped her up.

     "I—I'm sorry…" the boy quickly withdrew his hands, but not before the German girl spoke again.

     "But I never told you to let go, did I?" Asuka smiled, for the first time in what seemed like eons, she felt a small bit of joy.  That was enough for her.

Author's Notes:  Here's chapter 2, finished ahead of schedule since school's starting and I need full concentration to get through the first month.  I hope you guys enjoy this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it and have a good time.

Updated Notes:

Finally finished the reworked version of the second chapter, muchas gracias to Weltall Elite for his help.  New timetable included at the bottom.

The third chapter will take a while, I mean a while as in a month or two.  Sophmore year in highschool can be a pain in the ass especially with AP and honors classes.

Like I said before, Shinji and Asuka only needs love to bring out their inner strength and discover themselves and the will to live.  I sure hope I didn't write anyone OOC here =)

More coming up next in MOTT Chapter 3, The Politician and the Warrior!  

The author would like to thank Rhuobhe26 for pre-reading, although this time it took so llllllllloooooooonnnnnnnnnggggggggggg j/k =)

The author would also like to thank Weltall Elite, one of the dark lords of the DS people.  Fear him because his red correction mark can make your writing seems like an English essay's worst nightmare!

New timeline (No I won't write any faster, blame it on school)

Prologue:  The Lone Crusade = COMPLETED

Chapter 1:  A Spark of Hope = COMPLETED

Chapter 2:  A Mother's Love = COMPLETED

Chapter 3:  The Politician and the Warrior = ETA December, 20% completed.

Chapter 4:  Decision of Heroes/Pilot it One Last Time = ETA February

Chapter 5:  Not According o the Scenario/Origin of Evil = ETA March

Chapter 6:  Redemption and Salvation = ETA April

Epilogue:  One Last Finale:  Rejoice of Heroes and Final Confrontation = ETA May

Omake (extra):

The JSDF officer holstered his pistol a he entered the hall way of destruction, bullet holes and flaming wreckage were everywhere.  In front of him stood several other soldiers, looking down at the dead NERV guards' bodies and laughing.

     "Owned," the officer sneered.

     "OMFG u ch33t0rs!!!" one of the "dead" guards roared angrily.

     "Stupid teammates!" another added.

     "Crappy map!" the guard whose head was impaled by a piece of metal complained.

     "Lag…" the last guard said weakly.


End file.
